How many times have you dipped your toe into cold pool water, only to have your friend (already in the water) say “it’s nice once you get used to it?” The water may actually be cold or maybe not so much, but it almost always feels colder at first than it does later after your body acclimates to it. The way you get used to the temperature of the water is similar to the concept of desensitization in psychology. We can have a lot of anxiety about certain things, but after we are exposed to them over a period of time in a controlled way, anxiety is replaced by feelings of mastery.
Many types of therapy make use of desensitization. Types of therapy such as Prolonged Exposure Therapy (PET) treat phobias by exposing people to feared stimuli, for example snakes or elevators. PET and other types of therapy including EMDR can treat post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) by exposing people to their memories of traumatic events. Exposure and Response Prevention treats OCD by exposing people to thoughts and sensations which disturb them, while preventing them from engaging in compulsions they usually use to manage their discomfort. A few types of therapy (including ISTDP, which I practice), are structured to reduce anxiety associated with emotional experience and emotional closeness, using systematic exposure.
Exposure to feared and avoided stimuli, memories, emotions, and behaviors is actually one of the most powerful healing factors in effective therapy. However, it’s one of the hardest areas to motivate clients. Why? Because just like getting in the pool, it’s uncomfortable at first! Since therapists can’t splash you and drag you in like your friend at the pool, we have to build your motivation to get in based on how nice it will feel to swim (be free of symptoms) once you get used to the water (are done with the desensitization process).